The re.think Podcast

Two intelligent people can disagree and still drift apart, not because they're wrong, but because each is quietly solving a different problem. Dr. David Zierk names this "apart thinking" and introduces its antidote: twogether thinking–the shift from proving you're right to staying connected while you work it out. He breaks down the three conditions and four small practices that turn conflict into a shared win instead of a standoff.Take the quiz today: https://www.davidzierk.com/two Highlights→ The "apart thinking" loop: how experience, memory, and interpretation quietly steer two reasonable people toward gridlock without either one realizing it.→ The three conditions for true togetherness: shared reality, emotional co-regulation, and coordinated behavior, illustrated through a product launch stuck between speed and quality.→ Four micro-practices (pause, ask, acknowledge, slow down) and a one-line reset you can use mid-argument to pull a conversation back from the brink.Follow Dr. David Zierk
Subscribe to his re.fresh newsletter: www.davidzierk.com/resources/newsletter/Take the relationship intelligence (r.IQ) quiz and get personalized feedback that helpsyou grow: https://www.davidzierk.com/resources/riq-quiz/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-zierk-psyd-ab99302/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdavidzierk/Website: www.davidzierk.com
About Dr. David Zierk:
With a substantive background in psychological work with individuals and teams, Dr.Zierk enjoys bringing his experience to the stage and corporate clients by providingthem with the tools and language necessary for effective outcomes. Most recently, he’spublished a book called Mind Rules: Who’s In Control—You or Your Mind?
Dr. Zierk is a graduate of the University of Denver with a Master of Arts and aDoctorate in Clinical Psychology. He earned his Master of Arts in CounselingPsychology at the University of Colorado. He’s affiliated with the AmericanPsychological Association, the American Psychotherapy Association, the Association ofFamily and Conciliation Courts, and the National Academy of Neuropsychology.
He currently resides in Denver, Colorado, with his wife and has three children. Whenhe’s not on stage or working with a team, David loves to cycle in the mountains.Follow, rate, and review Dr. Z on Apple and Spotify!If you love Dr. Zierk’s episodes, here's how to follow her so you never miss one!1. For Apple, click the “Follow” button at the top of the page on the right.2. For Spotify, click the “Follow” button below Dr. David Zierk’s show tile.

Feedback is the most powerful word in leadership, parenting, and relationships—yet most of us never learned to do it well. Dr. David Zierk breaks down the five qualities that make feedback constructive instead of corrosive, and the five-step process for receiving it with openness instead of defensiveness. Learn why the same words can either unlock someone's potential or fracture the relationship entirely—and how to make sure yours build connection.
Highlights
→ The five qualities that separate constructive feedback from criticism that shuts people down—and why leaving out just one flips the whole conversation.
→ A real-world before-and-after: How the same performance concern can either erode trust or build it, depending on how it's delivered.
→ The five-step framework for receiving feedback with openness instead of defensiveness—because listening well is its own skill.
 
Follow Dr. David Zierk
 
Subscribe to his re.fresh newsletter: www.davidzierk.com/resources/newsletter/ 
Take the relationship intelligence (r.IQ) quiz and get personalized feedback that helps you grow: https://www.davidzierk.com/resources/riq-quiz/ 
 
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-zierk-psyd-ab99302/ 
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdavidzierk/ 
Website: www.davidzierk.com  
 
About Dr. David Zierk:
 
With a substantive background in psychological work with individuals and teams, Dr. Zierk enjoys bringing his experience to the stage and corporate clients by providing them with the tools and language necessary for effective outcomes. Most recently, he’s published a book called Mind Rules: Who’s In Control—You or Your Mind?
Dr. Zierk is a graduate of the University of Denver with a Master of Arts and a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology. He earned his Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology at the University of Colorado. He’s affiliated with the American Psychological Association, American Psychotherapy Association, Association of Family and Conciliation Courts, and National Academy of Neuropsychology.
He currently resides in Denver, Colorado, with his wife and has three children. When he’s not on stage or working with a team, David loves to cycle in the mountains.
 
Follow, rate, and review Dr. Z on Apple and Spotify!
 
If you love Dr. Zierk’s episodes, here's how to follow her so you never miss one!
 
For Apple, click the “Follow” button at the top of the page on the right. 
For Spotify, click the “Follow” button below Dr. David Zierk’s show tile.

Why does a reasonable disagreement between two capable people keep coming back? In this episode, Dr. David Zierk maps the four invisible forces driving most conflict—different pasts, competing passions, accumulated pet peeves, and conflict personality—and shows why lasting change requires diagnosing the system underneath the behavior, not just the behavior itself.
Highlights
→ Why the past is always the problem: how our private histories create mental filters that turn the exact same moment into two completely different experiences—and why conflict is often a collision of histories, not opinions.
→ The difference between intensity, reactivity, and behavior—and how passions, pet peeves, and conflict personality each contribute a different kind of fuel to escalating tension.
→ The four questions that interrupt the automatic chain of interpretation and reaction, and why curiosity, not logic, is the skill that transforms conflict into connection.
 
Follow Dr. David Zierk
 
Subscribe to his re.fresh newsletter: www.davidzierk.com/resources/newsletter/ 
Take the relationship intelligence (r.IQ) quiz and get personalized feedback that helps you grow: https://www.davidzierk.com/resources/riq-quiz/ 
 
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-zierk-psyd-ab99302/ 
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdavidzierk/ 
Website: www.davidzierk.com  
About Dr. David Zierk:
 
With a substantive background in psychological work with individuals and teams, Dr. Zierk enjoys bringing his experience to the stage and corporate clients by providing them with the tools and language necessary for effective outcomes. Most recently, he’s published a book called Mind Rules: Who’s In Control—You or Your Mind?
Dr. Zierk is a graduate of the University of Denver with a Master of Arts and a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology. He earned his Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology at the University of Colorado. He’s affiliated with the American Psychological Association, American Psychotherapy Association, Association of Family and Conciliation Courts, and National Academy of Neuropsychology.
He currently resides in Denver, Colorado, with his wife and has three children. When he’s not on stage or working with a team, David loves to cycle in the mountains.
 
Follow, rate, and review Dr. Z on Apple and Spotify!
If you love Dr. Zierk’s episodes, here's how to follow her so you never miss one!
For Apple, click the “Follow” button at the top of the page on the right. 
For Spotify, click the “Follow” button below Dr. David Zierk’s show tile.

You've tried harder, you've tried differently, and the conflict keeps coming back. In this episode, Dr. David Zierk reframes one of leadership's most frustrating experiences: The problems that resist every solution you throw at them. Not because you're failing—but because you're solving the wrong type of problem. Learn to distinguish what should be fixed, what must be managed, and what can only be navigated—and why that difference changes everything.
Highlights
→ Why "ABC thinking" works brilliantly for broken appliances and scheduling mix-ups—and fails spectacularly when applied to structural human tensions like conflicting values, leadership styles, or hardwired personality differences.
→ The difference between solvable, manageable, and unsolvable problems—and the costly misdiagnosis that turns manageable friction into endless escalation.
→ Four practices for navigating what cannot be resolved: recognition, regulation, mutual accommodation, and meaning making—and why they form a loop instead of a finish line.
 
Follow Dr. David Zierk
 
Subscribe to his re.fresh newsletter: www.davidzierk.com/resources/newsletter/ 
Take the relationship intelligence (r.IQ) quiz and get personalized feedback that helps you grow: https://www.davidzierk.com/resources/riq-quiz/ 
 
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-zierk-psyd-ab99302/ 
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdavidzierk/ 
Website: www.davidzierk.com  
About Dr. David Zierk:
 
With a substantive background in psychological work with individuals and teams, Dr. Zierk enjoys bringing his experience to the stage and corporate clients by providing them with the tools and language necessary for effective outcomes. Most recently, he’s published a book called Mind Rules: Who’s In Control—You or Your Mind?
Dr. Zierk is a graduate of the University of Denver with a Master of Arts and a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology. He earned his Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology at the University of Colorado. He’s affiliated with the American Psychological Association, American Psychotherapy Association, Association of Family and Conciliation Courts, and National Academy of Neuropsychology.
He currently resides in Denver, Colorado, with his wife and has three children. When he’s not on stage or working with a team, David loves to cycle in the mountains.
 
Follow, rate, and review Dr. Z on Apple and Spotify!
 
If you love Dr. Zierk’s episodes, here's how to follow her so you never miss one!
 
For Apple, click the “Follow” button at the top of the page on the right. 
For Spotify, click the “Follow” button below Dr. David Zierk’s show tile.

He cared deeply about his team—until one day, he just didn't have it in him anymore. In this episode, Dr. David Zierk names a phenomenon hiding in plain sight: empathic amnesia, the gradual forgetting of how to be empathetic when it's needed most. It's not a character flaw. It's emotional fatigue in a world that never stops demanding. And there's a surprisingly simple formula for getting it back.
Highlights
→ Why empathic amnesia rarely announces itself and how it disguises itself as efficiency, decisiveness, and focus, while connection quietly erodes beneath the surface.
→ The difference between authentic empathy and artificial empathy, and why a world saturated with global suffering has made us less connected to individual pain.
→ Dr. Zierk's human version of E=MC²—empathy as the product of mindfulness multiplied by compassionate curiosity squared—and how small, deliberate practices can counteract the drift toward numbness.
 
Follow Dr. David Zierk
 
Subscribe to his re.fresh newsletter: www.davidzierk.com/resources/newsletter/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-zierk-psyd-ab99302/ 
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdavidzierk/ 
Website: www.davidzierk.com  
Take the r.IQ quiz and get personalized feedback that helps you grow: https://www.davidzierk.com/resources/riq-quiz/ 
About Dr. David Zierk:
 
With a substantive background in psychological work with individuals and teams, Dr. Zierk enjoys bringing his experience to the stage and corporate clients by providing them with the tools and language necessary for effective outcomes. Most recently, he’s published a book called Mind Rules: Who’s In Control—You or Your Mind?
Dr. Zierk is a graduate of the University of Denver with a Master of Arts and a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology. He earned his Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology at the University of Colorado. He’s affiliated with the American Psychological Association, American Psychotherapy Association, Association of Family and Conciliation Courts, and National Academy of Neuropsychology.
He currently resides in Denver, Colorado, with his wife and has three children. When he’s not on stage or working with a team, David loves to cycle in the mountains.
 
Follow, rate, and review Dr. Z on Apple and Spotify!
 
If you love Dr. Zierk’s episodes, here's how to follow her so you never miss one!
 
For Apple, click the “Follow” button at the top of the page on the right. 
For Spotify, click the “Follow” button below Dr. David Zierk’s show tile.

Everyone in the room thought she had it all together. She knew better. In this episode, Dr. David Zierk introduces the Deep Little Secret—the quiet, fear-driven belief that if people truly knew you, they'd walk away. It's not imposter syndrome. It's something older and more personal. Understanding where it came from and what it costs you is the first step toward the belonging, intimacy, and connection you can't give yourself.
Highlights
→ The R.E.D. forces (rejection, exclusion, and devaluation) and how repeated exposure to them quietly shapes your sense of self from the outside in.
→ Why high performers build a "provisional identity" to earn approval, and the hidden cost it extracts from real connection and personal growth.
→ The Deep Little Secret model's three-layer framework—your greatest need (belonging), your greatest desire (intimacy), and your greatest fantasy (feeling uniquely special)—and how moving toward them, rather than away from fear, is the real antidote.
Follow Dr. David Zierk
Subscribe to his re.fresh newsletter: www.davidzierk.com/resources/newsletter/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-zierk-psyd-ab99302/ 
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdavidzierk/ 
Website: www.davidzierk.com  
Take the r.IQ quiz and get personalized feedback that helps you grow: https://www.davidzierk.com/resources/riq-quiz/ 
About Dr. David Zierk:
 
With a substantive background in psychological work with individuals and teams, Dr. Zierk enjoys bringing his experience to the stage and corporate clients by providing them with the tools and language necessary for effective outcomes. Most recently, he’s published a book called Mind Rules: Who’s In Control—You or Your Mind?
Dr. Zierk is a graduate of the University of Denver with a Master of Arts and a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology. He earned his Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology at the University of Colorado. He’s affiliated with the American Psychological Association, American Psychotherapy Association, Association of Family and Conciliation Courts, and National Academy of Neuropsychology.
He currently resides in Denver, Colorado, with his wife and has three children. When he’s not on stage or working with a team, David loves to cycle in the mountains.
 
Follow, rate, and review Dr. Z on Apple and Spotify!
 
If you love Dr. Zierk’s episodes, here's how to follow her so you never miss one!
 
For Apple, click the “Follow” button at the top of the page on the right.
For Spotify, click the “Follow” button below Dr. David Zierk’s show tile.

You may have stopped trying, but you never stopped believing. In Part 2 of his T.I.D.E. series, Dr. David Zierk unpacks the emotional cycle that keeps people caught in the T.I.D.E. and feeling trapped, isolated, deprived, and empty. He introduces the pivot that changes it. It’s about a deliberate choice that interrupts your limiting pattern and begins restoring your sense of worth. If you've been tolerating the intolerable, this episode is your next step.
Highlights
→ The difference between riding the tide and stemming it: Why staying the course feels safe but quietly deepens disconnection.
→ How self-awareness and self-doubt diverge, and why humans are wired to predict rejection before it even happens.
→ The core triad for turning the T.I.D.E.: intentionality, curiosity, and flexibility. Dr. Zierk also explains the reflection prompt to put it into practice this week.
 
Follow Dr. David Zierk
 
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-zierk-psyd-ab99302/ 
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdavidzierk/ 
Website: www.davidzierk.com  
Subscribe to his re.fresh newsletter: www.davidzierk.com/resources/newsletter/ 
 
About Dr. David Zierk:
 
With a substantive background in psychological work with individuals and teams, Dr. Zierk enjoys bringing his experience to the stage and corporate clients by providing them with the tools and language necessary for effective outcomes. Most recently, he’s published a book called Mind Rules: Who’s In Control—You or Your Mind?
Dr. Zierk is a graduate of the University of Denver with a Master of Arts and a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology. He earned his Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology at the University of Colorado. He’s affiliated with the American Psychological Association, American Psychotherapy Association, Association of Family and Conciliation Courts, and National Academy of Neuropsychology.
He currently resides in Denver, Colorado, with his wife and has three children. When he’s not on stage or working with a team, David loves to cycle in the mountains.
 
Follow, rate, and review Dr. Z on Apple and Spotify!
If you love Dr. Zierk’s episodes, here's how to follow her so you never miss one!
For Apple, click the “Follow” button at the top of the page on the right.
For Spotify, click the “Follow” button below Dr. David Zierk’s show tile.

You can be surrounded by people and still feel profoundly alone. In this episode, Dr. David Zierk introduces the T.I.D.E. model: a framework for understanding the quiet erosion of connection that leads to occupational, emotional, and even existential burnout. Whether it's a room full of colleagues or a long-term relationship, the parting tide leaves real marks. Awareness is the first act of self-respect, and it starts here.
 
Highlights
→ Dr. Zierk explains the T.I.D.E. acronym—Trapped, Isolated, Deprived, Empty—and how each stage deepens the disconnection you feel even when you're not alone.
→ Why high performers can reach the top yet feel more isolated than ever and what that reveals about the hidden cost of being placed on a pedestal.
→ A reflection prompt to help you identify where the tide is going out in your own life, whether at work, in relationships, or within yourself.
 
Follow Dr. David Zierk
 
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-zierk-psyd-ab99302/ 
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdavidzierk/ 
Website: www.davidzierk.com  
Subscribe to his re.fresh newsletter: www.davidzierk.com/resources/newsletter/ 
 
About Dr. David Zierk:
 
With a substantive background in psychological work with individuals and teams, Dr. Zierk enjoys bringing his experience to the stage and corporate clients by providing them with the tools and language necessary for effective outcomes. Most recently, he’s published a book called Mind Rules: Who’s In Control—You or Your Mind?
Dr. Zierk is a graduate of the University of Denver with a Master of Arts and a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology. He earned his Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology at the University of Colorado. He’s affiliated with the American Psychological Association, American Psychotherapy Association, Association of Family and Conciliation Courts, and National Academy of Neuropsychology.
He currently resides in Denver, Colorado, with his wife and has three children. When he’s not on stage or working with a team, David loves to cycle in the mountains.
 
Follow, rate, and review Dr. Z on Apple and Spotify!
 
If you love Dr. Zierk’s episodes, here's how to follow her so you never miss one!
 
For Apple, click the “Follow” button at the top of the page on the right. 
For Spotify, click the “Follow” button below Dr. David Zierk’s show tile.

Ever had a season where everything looked successful on paper, but something still felt off? In this episode, Dr. David Zierk introduces the Internal Compass—a four-point framework for recalibrating your values, goals, reflection, and emotional depth.
When these directions fall out of alignment, motivation fades, and resentment builds. When they align, leadership feels clear and intentional. If you want sustainable success, start by leading yourself well.
Highlights
→ The four compass points—True North, Heading West, Facing East, and Deep South—and what each reveals about your leadership alignment.
→ Why burnout and stalled momentum often signal overused strengths and neglected reflection.
→ A practical recalibration question to help you realign your decisions, priorities, and relationships this week.
 
Follow Dr. David Zierk
 
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-zierk-psyd-ab99302/ 
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdavidzierk/ 
Website: www.davidzierk.com  
Subscribe to his re.fresh newsletter: www.davidzierk.com/resources/newsletter/ 
 
About Dr. David Zierk:
 
With a substantive background in psychological work with individuals and teams, Dr. Zierk enjoys bringing his experience to the stage and corporate clients by providing them with the tools and language necessary for effective outcomes. Most recently, he’s published a book called Mind Rules: Who’s In Control—You or Your Mind?
Dr. Zierk is a graduate of the University of Denver with a Master of Arts and a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology. He earned his Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology at the University of Colorado. He’s affiliated with the American Psychological Association, American Psychotherapy Association, Association of Family and Conciliation Courts, and National Academy of Neuropsychology.
He currently resides in Denver, Colorado, with his wife and has three children. When he’s not on stage or working with a team, David loves to cycle in the mountains.
 
Follow, rate, and review Dr. Z on Apple and Spotify!
 
If you love Dr. Zierk’s episodes, here's how to follow her so you never miss one!
 
For Apple, click the “Follow” button at the top of the page on the right. 
For Spotify, click the “Follow” button below Dr. David Zierk’s show tile.

What if the real bottom line isn’t profit, but impact? In this episode, Dr. David Zierk introduces the concept of the “Relationship Tycoon”—a leader who builds influence the way business tycoons build wealth: intentionally, strategically, and for the long term.
Discover four practical principles that elevate trust, sharpen decision-making, and strengthen team performance without sacrificing humanity. Because sustainable success isn’t built on pressure. It’s built on relational intelligence.
 
Highlights
→ The four principles of relational tycoonology: mutuality, relatability, adaptability, and accountability.→ Why financial success without relational intelligence creates brittle cultures and burnout.→ A simple weekly leadership challenge to increase impact by leading differently, starting with one relationship. 
Follow Dr. David Zierk
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-zierk-psyd-ab99302/ 
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drdavidzierk/ 
Website: www.davidzierk.com   
Subscribe to his re.fresh newsletter: www.davidzierk.com/resources/newsletter/  
 
About Dr. David Zierk:
With a substantive background in psychological work with individuals and teams, Dr. Zierk enjoys bringing his experience to the stage and corporate clients by providing them with the tools and language necessary for effective outcomes. Most recently, he’s published a book called Mind Rules: Who’s In Control—You or Your Mind?
Dr. Zierk is a graduate of the University of Denver with a Master of Arts and a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology. He earned his Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology at the University of Colorado.
He’s affiliated with the American Psychological Association, American Psychotherapy Association, Association of Family and Conciliation Courts, and National Academy of Neuropsychology.
He currently resides in Denver, Colorado, with his wife and has three children. When he’s not on stage or working with a team, David loves to cycle in the mountains.
Follow, rate, and review Dr. Z on Apple and Spotify!
If you love Dr. Zierk’s episodes, here's how to follow her so you never miss one!
For Apple, click the “Follow” button at the top of the page on the right. For Spotify, click the “Follow” button below Dr. David Zierk’s show tile.